What does it mean to submit to one another in the fear of God?

Submitting to one another in the fear of God means Christians choose to serve and yield to each other out of respect for the Lord. It is not about one person being worthless and another being important. It is about a humble heart that wants to put others first because God has loved us first. This shapes every relationship, including marriage, family, church, and life in society. When believers remember they answer to God, they treat others with care, patience, and honor, not pride or harshness.

What does it mean for wives to submit to their own husbands as unto the Lord?

When this passage tells wives to submit to their own husbands as unto the Lord, it is calling for a willing, respectful attitude that honors God. It does not mean the husband replaces Christ or that the wife is worth less. It means she chooses to support and follow her husband’s leadership as part of God’s order in the home, the same way the church follows Christ. This is meant to be done in love and trust, not in fear or abuse, and it is set within the wider call for all believers to live in mutual care.

How are husbands called to love their wives like Christ loved the church?

Husbands are told to love their wives in the same way Christ loved the church and gave himself for her. That love is not selfish or harsh. It is costly, gentle, and willing to lay down comfort and even life for the good of the other. A husband is to care for his wife’s well-being, protect her, and seek what helps her grow in faith and holiness. The picture is not of a man demanding to be served, but of one who serves, nourishes, and cherishes his wife as his own body.

What is the meaning of the washing of water by the word in this passage?

The washing of water by the word points to how Christ cleanses his people. The picture is of washing with water, which many connect with baptism, but the main point is that Christ uses his word of promise to make his church clean. He takes people who are stained by sin and, through his word and promise of forgiveness, makes them holy. This shows how deep his care is: he does not just love from far away, he works to change and purify his people so they can be presented to him without spot or wrinkle.

Why does Paul say no one ever hated their own flesh in this teaching?

Paul says no one ever hated their own flesh to show how natural it is to care for yourself, and then applies that to marriage. Just as people feed, protect, and look after their own bodies, husbands should treat their wives with the same care, because the two are one flesh. To love your wife is to love yourself. To harm her is to harm yourself. This helps correct selfishness and gives a simple picture: a husband’s job is not to rule harshly, but to nourish and cherish his wife as part of himself.

What does it mean that husband and wife are one flesh?

Being one flesh comes from the first marriage, where a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife. It speaks of a deep union in body and life. They are no longer two separate paths but joined together. In this passage, that one-flesh union is used to explain why a husband should love his wife as his own body. It also points beyond itself to the close, real, but spiritual union between Christ and his church, which is called a great mystery that goes beyond ordinary human bonds.

Why is this called a great mystery about Christ and the church?

It is called a great mystery because marriage is not only about two people joining their lives, it also pictures something deeper. The joining of husband and wife hints at the union between Christ and his church. This union is real but spiritual, brought about by the Spirit and received by faith. We cannot fully grasp how close and strong that bond is. Paul points out that when he talks about leaving, cleaving, and being one flesh, he is mainly speaking about Christ and the church, and marriage reflects that pattern.

How should husbands and wives apply love and respect from this passage today?

Husbands and wives can apply this passage by seeing marriage as a place to show Christlike love and godly respect. Husbands should ask, “Am I loving my wife in a way that puts her good ahead of my comfort, like Christ did for the church?” Wives can ask, “Am I honoring and supporting my husband as part of my service to the Lord?” Both should remember the call to mutual submission, to listen, to serve, and to bear with each other. This shapes daily choices, words, and attitudes in the home.

Why does this passage seem difficult or challenging for some readers?

This passage can feel hard because it speaks about submission and headship, which have often been twisted or abused. Some hear these words and think of control, silence, or harm. But the passage itself puts everything under the fear of God and the pattern of Christ’s self-giving love. The husband’s role is tied to sacrifice, care, and gentleness, not dominance. The wife’s submission is linked to honor and trust, not loss of worth. It helps to read the whole section together, seeing mutual submission, deep love, and the picture of Christ and the church.

Eph.5.21

Ephesians 5:21

KJV

Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God.

Wives and Husbands

Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God.

Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.

For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.

Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.

Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;

That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word,

That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.

So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.

For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:

For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones.

For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.

This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church.

Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.

Cross References

No cross references available for this verse.